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Eckhart Tolle lived upto his twenty ninth year in a state of almost continual anxiety interspersed with periods of suicidal depression. Then he woke up one night with a feeling of absolute dread. The silence of the night, the vague outlines of the furniture in the dark room, the distant noise of a passing train - everything felt so alien, so hostile, and so utterly meaningless that it created in him a deep loathing of the world. "I cannot live with myself any longer." This was the thought that kept repeating itself in his mind. Suddenly he became aware that if he could not live with himself, there had to be two - he and the "self" he could not live with. He was stunned by the realization. He became enveloped by powerful feelings.

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Checked Into Nirvana. Where Is Joy?