“The day the child realizes that all adults are imperfect he becomes an adolescent; the day he forgives them, he becomes an adult; the day he forgives himself, he becomes wise.”

Does that awaken something inside you, like it does with me?

There’s a great truth in this quote.

Forgiveness is without doubt one of the greatest gifts you can give to someone. And also perhaps the most important gift you could give to yourself.

Are you holding onto anger? Have you been wronged in the past? Perhaps it’s time to forgive.

Now many of you might be thinking, “That’s easy for you to say, you don’t know what they’ve done to me.”

“My parents didn’t love me.”

“My husband cheated on me.”

“My best friend betrayed me.”

“The other kids at school laughed at me and called me names.”

Yes, you have been hurt in the past by others, but right now it is you that is causing yourself pain. Once any initial, natural “grieving period” is over, you need to release any negative feelings like anger, or regret. Holding on to the pain hurts no-one but you.

And you do that through forgiveness.

Don’t be tempted though to use the old line, “I’ll forgive, but I’ll never forget.” Seriously, that’s not forgiveness, is it? True forgiveness is complete and unconditional.

So if you’re ready to let go of your pain, try these three steps:

1. Accept that it is only you that is hurting yourself, by holding onto the anger.

2. Understand that no person intentionally sets out to harm another. We are all human, and all desire to be loved, and to love. It is who we are. If someone has hurt you, it has been a misguided action, as a result of their own fears and insecurities. Remember that they too are facing their own battles.

3. Give gratitude, or thanks to the person, for whatever lessons you have received. As hard as it may seem, you have grown as a person as a result of their actions. It’s up to you whether you grow towards love and compassion, or towards fear. Find the path to love and compassion. Thank them for their part in shaping who you are, and wish them love.

Who can you forgive today?

Give yourself a gift by forgiving someone for the hurt they have caused you.

Forgive your parents for not being perfect. Remember, no matter how bad it might have been they loved you with all the love they were able to give. No parent intentionally withholds love. If you didn’t receive enough, it’s not your fault. What is your fault is holding on to the pain. They loved you as much as they could. Forgive and release the pain.

And forgive yourself as well, for any pain you have caused yourself and others. Leave the pain in the past. You know deep down that you deserve to be loved. Give thanks to yourself for the lessons you have learnt.

And love yourself.

Lance Beggs.