ONLINE DATING - Seek out a reputable online dating service. Begin by asking friends, co-workers and other you may know who have tried online dating, and see which places they recommend. Also, head to your favorite search engine and type in “online dating services” to see which ones come up. Start a journal or notebook and log your progress. Write out the URLs or website links and do some research: list fees, rules and regulations, complete contact information of the site and any other useful information that you run across. Then begin slow. If something doesn’t feel right, trust your instincts and STOP.
COMMUNICATION - Go slow and don’t try to share every tidbit of information about yourself over night. Keep away from subjects that you don’t agree upon. When communicating via email and other electronic means (chat rooms, forums, etc.) don’t use all upper case letters (that’s called “shouting”), slang or your personal address for safety. Do use a firewall and anti-virus software to keep your computer safe, too. Key in “online safety tips” and check out online lists for updated safety tips once a month to make sure you’re up to date.
FRIENDSHIP - As your friendship grows, check to see if you are not only getting along pretty well together, but also handling conflicts well together. If you miss a chat time, for instance, is that it? Are you in the doghouse for a week? And gradually decide if you should meet in person. If so, make sure it’s a safe place out in public and that you are both legal adults.
LOVE GOALS - Gradually develop goals together so you’ll have a sense of direction. Write them down in a notebook just for the two of you. And over time, develop them, revise them, cross them off your list. The idea is to HAVE goals together and work towards a common good.
So before you fork out thousands of dollars looking for Mr. or Ms. Right, reach out and try to help yourself first. Go slow and steady, and use caution. Once you find your own love connection, you could set up your own matchmaker website!
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