Problems, obstacles, disappointments, or whatever we like to call them, are a fact of life. Things simply do not always happen the way we want them to, or go according to plan. Everyone has to face and deal with problems throughout their lives. Being able to handle problems more effectively will make a great difference to our lives.

Many people become so tied up thinking and worrying about their problems, that they work themselves up into such a state that it can become impossible to see a way out.

Then there are some people that seem to sail through life and achieve great success and happiness, and never seem to encounter any real problems. Does this mean that these people are just lucky and things don’t go wrong for them? Almost certainly not! More likely, they approach their problems in a different way to most people.

There are some simple things we can do that will help. The first thing to do is to stop thinking about the problem. It can be tempting to rehash every aspect of what happened and when, what you could have done differently, or why you did this instead of that, and so on and on. It’s also easy to curse our bad luck or feel sorry for ourselves. But there is no doubt whatsoever that this will get us nowhere - we may even get us so bogged down that we become completely immobilised.

We must make the decision to learn from the experience, look for any positive aspects to be found, and move on. The sooner we do this the better, because then we can do what really matters - concentrate on the solutions! This is by far the best way to deal with any problem. We must accept as a fact what has happened and then look for as many ways as possible to reach a solution.

Consulting a friend or colleague who can offer an impartial view may also help.