Low self esteem or fearfulness looks like slouched shoulders;
head down, arms folded in front or in pockets. Confidence looks
like walking tall, shoulders back, head up, eye to eye contact,
arms at the side. One statistic revealed that those trained in
martial arts are less likely to ever be attacked because of the
way they carry themselves. They’ve been trained to defend
themselves and to not take a weak position. They have
confidence.

Try this experiment. The next time you’re in a public place,
mall, grocery store, the beach, no matter, walk past all the
people and look them directly in the eye. You might want to
smile a little or offer a “how ya doin’?” so they don’t think
you’re stalking them. You’ll be amazed at the number of people
who will not look at you. They’ll look down or away but not at
you. Of course, in some cultures it’s not proper to look people
in the eye. Be sensitive to that. But in many circles you will
find it hard to find 10 people who will look at you.

By you looking at them, in some subconscious way you’re
communicating that you are not afraid. You’re not sending
nonverbal clues that you lack confidence. To get into the
practice of always looking people in the eye, take it one step
further and see what color eyes they have. It only takes a quick
glance, you’re not starring down people but if you make an effort
to determine eye color, you can be confident that you’re properly
looking people head on in the eyes.

Get your hands out of your pockets when you walk. Uncross those
arms that are locked across your chest. Not only does it look
stronger and friendlier to have open arms, it’s safer. Should
the need arise that you need to thwart off a would-be attacker;
you’re going to need your arms to free yourself. How easy it is
for one to come up from behind you and grab you if your arms are
tucked neatly away? You’re just making it easy. How can you
poke out eyeballs, or jab Adam’s apples or throw an elbow to the
ribs if your arms are hugging yourself.

“But I AM scared,” you confess. There are two things you can do
about that. One is take some self defense classes and learn how
to not be afraid. The other and immediate method to change how
you project yourself is to fake it until you make it. You may be
scared out of your wits, but if you get the self talk going, “I
am NOT afraid” and get the body language to follow it, head up,
shoulders back, arms open, then you’re at least giving the
allusion that you are not a weak prey.

Half of your battle is in the mind. Do something about it.

The information contained in this article is for educational purposes only and is not intended to medically diagnose, treat or cure any disease. Consult a health care practitioner before beginning any health care program.